Ignoring an avoidant reddit. But I can never ever date another avoidant attached person.

Ignoring an avoidant reddit The avoidant may pursue a partner in the beginning, being charming and interesting in courtship, and may enjoy the thrill of the chase. Definitely like this,My dismissive avoidant and I were together for over a year. My avoidant boyfriend (25m) is ignoring me (25f) after I opened up about feeling upset . He sent me messages here and there for about two weeks before giving up. It’s an awful and hurtful thing to do, I know. And if "ignoring" occurs repeatedly esp after an argument w/ no signs of resolution I’d set boundaries. I myself am FA and I don't participate in a lot of the behaviors people say Hi! I'm 16 and I have a friend I met recently (within the last year) and although our friendship was not organic, I often tried to put effort and time into our relationship ,despite both of our issues with mental health. I was wondering if anyone here who is a fearful avoidant or really familiar with attachment theory could give some thoughts on my theory that an old love of mine who had a pattern of ghosting was fearful avoidant leaning. Overwhelming majority of my friends are old friends from trade school and it was overwhelmingly populated by guys. Something, who knows what, was silently simmering under the surface, and they didn’t have the skills to let the pressure off, so one day it got to be too much and Welcome to r/relationship_advice. Has anyone felt the same? Please review the subreddit rules prior to participating to ensure this subreddit remains on topic. If someone wants space to process they can politely inform you. It makes SO much sense. Avoidant now ignoring me for days on end - how to set boundaries I'm (SA leaning AA) dating an avoidant (F and D traits) for a year. Also, look up the sunk cost fallacy. Omg I’m FA and I totally relate to feeling “huffy” and like “ignore me? I’ll show you ignoring lol” when a SO gets dismissive. Making people feel like their needs are somehow too much. true. Hey! I can see where you say "the sub vilifies avoidants” however just want to be clear this post was not intended for that. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. He turned 21 that year. DAs will often appear conflict avoidant, but it may be a case of “picking your battles”. The fact that you are posting here gives me the impression that you do value her and value the relationship. Now they’re liking posts, watching/reacting to stories. You'll never be able to get over them if they are in front of you all the time. The more you ignore something, the more it will pop up in weird ways. Hey, sorry for the long post, my ex is a fearful avoidant, she and I have been together for a matter of 7 months, the first 6 months were amazing, as she is one of a kind, we fell for each other quickly. NOTE: sometimes if someone with dissociation issues, something avoidants can have, gets really quiet and kinda mumbles and gazes into space in response it’s not because they want to ignore the issue, it’s because they have left the scene and Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 17 votes and 11 comments Pretty sure I'm dating an avoidant right now and my main source of frustration is the hot and cold or just ignoring texts he doesn't want to answer. And by too much interest I'm talking about when we are on a first date with a new guy, and he maybe flirts with me before I'm ready to be flirted with, I get a strong "ick" feeling of repulsion, like the weight of his romantic expectations suffocates me, Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and ignoring the partner's attempts to reach out and communicate. The problem is most of the time she just doesn't use that system. I get other things in return from my friends and family that i can't provide myself. it’s so cruel. Three months later, I ghosted him. It’s unfortunately an extremely common pattern that avoidant and insecure attached people end up in a sort of codependent dance. Hey, I wanted to post this in the attachment style subs but they are all very restrictive of who can post and idk how to qualify lol. So yes, many of not all, will work on their anxious tendency. This is so painful. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. I’m going through something similar. I've come a looooong way with this with my FA (avoidant leaning) friend. I tend to withdraw in my relationship with my GF. You seem to keep ignoring when others offer a different perspective about avoidants that doesn't correlate with what you've seen. An avoidant will ignore or ghost because their anxiety is spiking and it helps them feel safe. Not purposefully avoidant, if needed i talk with them easily or if there's nothing better to do. I occasionally hide his alerts when I find myself caring too much about his response time. It can be easier to date an avoidant style partner when you have your own life and bring them into it instead of them being your entire life because avoidant styles are like a barren environment: inhabitable, stress inducing, unrealistic. to me, there have been times where my avoidance is triggered by people that “chase” me by double or triple texting me or desperately trying to get my attention when i am not interested/confortable in seeking a romantic connection with them. The pattern you describe here is exactly what it was like with conflict (which is inevitable) of any kind. This caused problems hell up till just yesterday I assumed he was faking his depression and using it to ignore me but after reading up on it he is 100% Fearful avoidant who also as high functioning depression. BUT - at the same time, she is something of an avoidant, and so whereas I have always been very direct if I’ve wanted to reconnect with someone, and been quick to apologise and message directly, I just wondered whether this Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and ignoring the partner's attempts to reach out and communicate. Not all avoidants are selfish horrible people. I have a story with a conflict-avoidant person, and I have friends with similar stories; these stories end with the conflict-avoidant people abruptly abandoning the relationship. The thought of my behavior and/or thought process being subconsciously impacted by something that I have attempted to ignorethat gives me shivers😂. Very very very great insightful text, up to the last part. Mutual friends told me that she was accusing me of being manipulative, cruel, trying to “buy” her love, being clingy and creepy, stalking her online, etc. To answer your question: Avoidants might feel something for being ignored but they have better coping strategies than an anxious preoccupied when it comes to lack of communication. But I’ve kept ignoring him. It wasn't fun, in fact extremely disappointing on my end. Maybe they I know he's not a bad person and avoidant people need and serve love too. Just a lot of coincidences and some of my own quirks have made it so that 99,99% of my friends are guys. I’ve done this before, where I basically ignore her for a while. These bouts of ignoring got longer as the relationship progressed. It’s almost been 7 weeks of him ignoring me. I suddenly went No Contact and began ignoring all his messages. Now if things appear my partner is ignoring me I’ll bring it up. I have sympathy for my avoidant ex and I feel like my friend doesn't understand it. I think it's INTJ thing in general to completely ignore the person whom they find attractive unless and until we know them personally. We talked about moving in, getting married and having kids. Mainly because it impedes all the progress I have made with my anxious attachment style. It’s been 4+ months of heartbreak that I never wanted. But honestly, the only way to Small arguments turn into a couple days of ignoring in the beginning. If someone is ignoring you, or being dismissive, or being a jerk, or randomly pushing you out of their life, or giving you the silent treatment for days after an argument - that is not excused by them “having avoidant attachment style”. The anxiety you feel as an anxious person is the same as an avoidant person we just have different ways of dealing with it. Currently ignoring her at all costs. They run away when the feelings get too strong for them because it scares people with an avoidant attachment. Please review the subreddit rules prior to participating to ensure this subreddit remains on topic. But the truth is with him I feel more avoidant than ever. During that break, she broke NC and we got back together. He gets frustrated if I give him anything other than a straight yes or no to questions, but it's like pulling teeth to get answers from him. Years ago an avoidant person would be shamed for it. He initiated the break up because he realized it’s too much for him and his mental health is in the dumps. need to be a big deal. I hope they help. I think this would trigger any avoidant. People being avoidant and cold in relationships. He is SUPER avoidant on talking about our FA here. So now she doesn't ignore, and when she can't talk, she will say, "can we revisit because I can't formulate my thoughts and emotions into words". I have Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment due to childhood trauma. Dismissive Attachment and Anxious Attachment make really poor matches. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors. Everyone has times when they are available and times they are not No thoughts but I’m sorry you’re going through this. This post is solely intended for opening up dialogue on healthy, constructive strategies for avoidant partners as well as creating space for avoidants to share what’s effective for them during deactivation. Since some guys, when get a girl, act like a clingy person and a few months later, most of them get turned off, Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now This is a subreddit about and for individuals with an avoidant attachment style. DAs will avoid, not out of anxiety, but because they don’t really care to Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and ignoring the partner's attempts to reach out and communicate. In my personal life honestly it's the same. What work has he done to manage his avoidant tendencies? Is he being accountable to using those strategies right now? After months of trying to understand his hot and cold behaviour I realised he is avoidant and he even admitted to pushing people away when they get closer. I broke up with my avoidant ex last night, after 4 months. according to her, avoidant personality disorder. They’re definitely avoidant and probably got freaked out. I gave him the space he needed. I was briefly dating someone and they ghosted. If at all possible stay away from avoidants. I am four months post break up with my dismissive avoidant ex who initiated the break up text book blindsided. The love and great experiences don’t impact the outcome. But what I will say, is that some people going tit for tat with APs is ridiculous. I know because I’ve been there and it drove me crazy. Avoidant people often like to project onto secure people that they are "anxious" if they show even the slightest anxiety or upset about the avoidant pulling away and suddenly changing the dynamic of the relationship. ----- The style of connecting/attaching with other people is a direct reflection of our earliest experiences with our caregivers, as well as other influential relationships in our life. But you can't have lets say a purchaser, manager or salesman who is conflict avoidant. Went on that weekend trip I mentioned above, and things really started to click again (she was even blushing and flirting with me and even opened up about what she's working on in therapy View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. I invite anyone who is currently going through this to join FA here. Before that I was in a very blissful state 28 votes, 12 comments. Discussion can be about personal stories, treatment ideas, support for yourself or others, and ideas with how to deal with your own problems dealing with AvPD (not to be confused with Avoidant Attachment!) Please review the subreddit rules prior to participating to ensure this subreddit remains on topic. Please respect our space. APs are natural problem solvers. Said she needed to feel butterflies. But it's a strange feeling having the elephant in the room addressed after all of these years ignoring it It feels pretty meaningless so I’m largely ignoring it, and am aware of the typical dumper breadcrumbs and so forth. While they may not choose to be this way, they can certainly choose to seek ways to improve and perhaps even overcome their avoidant tendencies. I worked on my anxieties meanwhile. there have been times where even if it’s someone i really like, when i feel like i’ve opened up too much or got too close; i pull Welcome to r/relationship_advice. My social role often is being the guy who stands up for the group or individual who needs it. Please respect our space APs have few boundaries and love the attention, often ignoring intuitive signals that something is off. I was going about trying to find true love and intimacy all wrong, though. Ignoring: For me, ignoring drives me up a wall and around the corner. Please respect our space Anxious Attachment = Boundaries are too weak Avoidant Attachment = Boundaries are too strong You're probably right but that blew my mind. " With an avoidant all that predictable progression does not count. Please make sure you read our rules here. But these are the steps I took to get out of it. If the avoidant wants to take space, ask them to communicate it and set a deadline for when they will return. Lots more behind it but not relevant. I read Reddit to just ground myself and stop the gaslighting over and over again. Or check it out in the app stores   off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and ignoring the partner's attempts to reach out and communicate. I’m hurting so much. Every time I felt like breaking no contact with DA, I would go to Reddit to read all the heartache, confusion and immense disappointment from Dismissive Avoidant - and kick myself back to keep and stay NC. Or otherwise remove them from your social media feed, your phone, your camera roll, whatever. It really puts things into perspective and if you’re an anxious attachment, you can see how an anxious-avoidant cycle occurs and every step of it and how it usually plays out. My ex ghosted me 4 months ago after being together for over a year and even though I think it's unacceptable I do understand where it’s coming from and why he is avoidant. I simply don’t know how to manage it. If I greet you, acknowledgment or even none is fine, but it you ignore me an entire evening and only acknowledge me when I leave, that's weird. I do not know how to teach them. It’s mind boggling. When in reality it's just like you said. I ignored it, and he has insisted a couple times for me to answer since. But for the avoidant people who stay, it's probably because the arrangement works for them and meets their needs. Finally someone's talking some sense. The difference is that the narc will be doing it to punish or things like avoiding taking accountability for something. We still talk but he says he's lost the connection we had when i clearly know now that its just his avoidant style. Some aren't. you will be out of pace with a lot of the people on dating apps, although you are not old at all for having no experience, but thats why i think it's great to be open about what you're wanting in your bio/first few messages or whatever. There's no one size fits all scenario really. It's quite possible he still cares for you deeply. I broke up with him when we would start ignoring each other for weeks So, this was during our relationship, when he started to turn into his avoidant self, before that everything was so perfect, so when he ignored me for a whole day that came as a surprise to me, now that I look back and with the knowledge I have right now, I can see he distanced himself because he was overwhelmed with his feelings, not because he didn't care. of COURSE we are going to feel anxious and upset when that happens! We were all good with how things were going! But yeah. Was like that between my ex and me,i used to be pretty anxious and he would be pretty avoidant. Avoidant attachment style is very unhealthy and toxic. This is why it’s especially hard for me to read up about my Avoidant attachment style because all I kept seeing were female anxious/male avoidant relationships where the anxious is complaining about their “avoidant Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and ignoring the partner's attempts to reach out and communicate. Only an avoidant could do what he did to me. Follow reddit rules. To keep this a safe space for avoidant attachers, this subreddit is strictly moderated. Uh. Oh well, we reconnected after 2 years and he said he wants to marry me after 2 weeks. An example of a response to ‘I miss you,’ – “Thank you for letting me know. We can't fit them into one fits all. I invite anyone who is currently going through this to join together here for venting, support, healing, and advice. I still have a commitment to my self respect and self protection. They go numb and none of it matters. This is my first time dating an avoidant partner and I find myself in a bit of a situation. I don't think this is an INTJ thing, but rather an avoidant attachment style thing. We went on a couple dates, but she kept putting space between us. An avoidant is an avoidant because of learned rewired thinkings and false beliefs and behavior. Also known as Anxious Avoidant or Disorganized attachment. Yelling: If there is yelling involved in a conflict, she shuts down, and things go A space for people who struggle with an anxious attachment style to learn more about it (so as to get on the path of healing), share experiences of their healing journey, find support while healing, and give tips and feedback for discovering healthier coping mechanisms, and overall feeling more secure within yourself (and with others). Zero many days of ignoring you is normal. I was not “fixed” by a partner. Unfortunately, I think this is a lot of life with an avoidant. Said she needed to miss me. He felt pushed and we got in an avoidant anxious cycle. And admitting that to myself was a big part of moving forward and approaching attraction in a more effective way. What happens when you ignore fearful avoidant ex? We broke up like 10 times (all initiated by her) during our 1. honestly it was just pure torture because he didn't work or anything he was just playing video games he was purposely just ignoring me I would tell him I miss him and he would just ignore me he stopped being affectionate a while ago when the I could not speak by your boyfriend, but when a guy act like that, the main reason to play mind game is not put the cart before the horse. The fucked thing is I have avoidant tendancies myself but I also have disorganized attachment where I got an equal mix of both avoidant and anxious. Last week, we had a minor conflict. I (FA/ AP if I'm with an avoidant), tend to run away from guys who show too much interest too quickly (unless they're unavailable). I was with an anxious/avoidant for 20 years and it was hell on earth and nearly destroyed me. 1) Block them. They might be angry or sad for a fleeting moment but then move on and preoccupy their mind with something else instead of ruminating, obsessively thinking about it. It's very confusing because they really are in fact interested, just not emotionally available enough or self aware to actually pursue a real Avoidants do attach. Most AT-aware anxious folks problem is overemphasizing with the avoidant person. Classic avoidant all in at first then around 7 months started pulling back. ADMIN MOD Ghosters tend to be avoidant personalities-free PDF to ATTACHED, a book that helped me Hearing you all express this avoidant argument is putting a LOT of pieces together about why he left out of the blue - and completely devastated me. That's why at the moment I Also known as Anxious Avoidant or Disorganized attachment. I love him so much. It's just how the mind is set up. It turns out you can't stop an avoidant while they're running (I should have known better). Reminder: - I’m looking for Avoidant attachers to answer for themselves, not for their exes or partners. Were both too immature to really compromise and we would just fight constantly. I was with my avoidant ex for a year before I left they can have LTRs but that doesn’t mean they aren’t avoidant in that relationship. I did become more self aware after a very volatile and miserable relationship with a fearful avoidant man that got me back in therapy, but the relationship honestly left me more scarred than anything else and I’m glad I ended it. I protested and eventually compromised. I’m just wondering because my ex was a conflict avoidant person and she’s been in therapy for a long time, ever since I’ve known her so at least 3+ years now. The best thing to do is to date multiple people at once which will deactivate your attachment to the point where you can avoid getting too involved with an avoidant and increase your odds of dating a secure or anxious. First you spot they are an avoidant based on things like lifestyle, opinions and past relationships patterns. Avoidant women tend to go for avoidant men from what I've observed in my personal life and in attachment communities. I am obsessive in terms of my inner growth. m. It’s easier for avoidant people to show up in relationships in the start because they know the expectations of a relationship it’s when intimacy and closeness begins to build they start to struggle . Straight up ignoring you and refusing all communication is emotionally abusive. Then the changes in vibes and energy tells you they probably aren’t DA. Those assholes. - Both of you have to be doing the work, not just the anxious. They might not really think about whether it works for you or not. Depressive episodes where she needed to recharge. After a year asked to not see each other as much. But also, from looking through this sub (and AITA and Co) it seems that: Anxious attachment = thinks their boundaries are too weak Avoidant attachment = thinks their boundaries are too strong In this situation they also anticipate being less likely to feel guilty about any avoidant behaviours, plus while a person doesn't like them too much it comfortably confirms their own negative self-worth. I really like them however, they can be avoidant and ignore me for a while in messages (although in person it's better. Ignoring or ghosting can be a narc thing just as much as the rages. Dismissive avoidant attachment style does not mean you are automatically conflict avoidant. Historically, I've gotten avoidant towards people who I would consider very emotionally demanding or have some "boundary issues" - wanting to spend constant time together/talk all the time (this is something I wouldn't consider inherently bad - just overwhelming to my avoidant side), a sense of possessiveness/jealousy of me, regularly initiating fights over very small Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. I still haven’t responded to her in almost a week. No one securely attached would ever, and an anxiously attached person would be on me every 5 minutes. In my experience, many avoidant people do leave for one reason or another. Dating wise, I've only pursued short flings, I don't really feel emotionally available. Do you think avoidant have a harder time to get better even with therapy? Like maybe even though they know what they need to do, they just avoid doing/thinking about it. Yet in the face of someone far more avoidant than me it hits me like a bag of bricks. I suggest reading all of the attachment books. It just doesn't work. there have been times where even if it’s someone i really like, when i feel like i’ve opened up too much or got too close; i pull I never consciously chose to ignore bad feelings until I started doing a lot of inner work (that lasted almost two years) to try and even get access to my emotions and become less avoidant ironically. This isn't the problem. DR My avoidant boyfriend has been ignoring me for the past 3 days since I opened up about Read “attached” by Amir Levine. ----------------------- The style of connecting/attaching with other people is a direct reflection of our earliest experiences with our caregivers, as well as other influential My ex is a confused and hurt human being, most likely avoidant, yet that is not an excuse to hurt another person. Makes you doubt your experience. How could he ignore me like this? I was so devoted. During all this time I thought we had entered an avoidant-anxious game (in my romantic relationships, I usually have a secure kind of attachment). Or check it out in the app stores   A recovery focused support group for people with Avoidant Personality Disorder. It’s an immediate disengage for me. There is very little to no accountability, nor the ability to grow, with this perspective. Also you really cannot fix them so best to not get involved before they seek help! After getting ghosted twice by a close friend, in the span of, like a year and a half, I've realized I've grown more detached. But I can never ever date another avoidant attached person. It could even just be a quiet dinner in or meeting for a meal. Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and ignoring the partner's attempts to reach out and communicate. It led me to eventually ignore her calls and texts for many days. Does anyone have experience ignoring a dismissive avoidant and specifically how do they react? It’s a mine field of avoidant attachments out there. Probably because he's a FWB & not technically a boyfriend. It's not easy for me to have crushes (I don't even have any celebrity crush), but when that happens and If that person is not in my friend group - I will literally ignore that person, like they don't even exist. It just pushes you back. I could not speak by your boyfriend, but when a guy act like that, the main reason to play mind game is not put the cart before the horse. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and ignoring the partner's attempts to reach out and communicate. honestly it was just pure torture because he didn't work or anything he was just playing video games he was purposely just ignoring me I would tell him I miss him and he would just ignore me he stopped being affectionate a while ago when the - Have a strategy in place for deactivation. Especially talking to people who are very pushy and demanding for quick replies. Few know their attachment styles and have no clue they are giving you all the signals and clues. Everything at the start was perfect, then once he had me, it all changed. The few self-aware avoidants who I look up to continue to do so, and the overwhelming majority of avoidant people I know do not come anywhere close to being able to understand it. Communication is needed to be with an avoidant but often communication is another scary subject to someone with that attachment. I get bat-shit triggered from stonewalling. Took space but he told me he does not want to be in a relationship with me or anyone. My avoidant ex reached out to me and I think he’s ignoring me now I Need Advice 😩 I [25F] was exclusively dating Bob [25M] for 2 months and it’s been 2 months since it ended on very bad terms. I just dated someone who very probably had BPD w/ narcissistic tendencies who is also avoidant. Please respect our space The best way to respond the breadcrumbs (if at all, you can definitely choose to ignore them in favor of your healing) is to be polite and short, and re-state your need for no contact. I don’t always feel like answering at the moment so I’ll put it off, but then I get very anxious knowing the reply is waiting for me, and I ignore it, and it makes me more anxious thinking the person is getting angry at me, and it’s a very vicious cycle. It seems like it's an avoidant thing to just not give closure or even say goodbye to someone do you agree ? It’s only a labyrinth trying to hyper focus on an avoidant dismissive person. Now they just say they're "setting boundaries". By healthily communicating my concern, I’ve done my due diligence in being responsible in the relationship. July the 6th is his birthday. We established a system for when she gets like this where she'll send me a coloured square to indicate her status and that she wants space. Stay well fellow survivors of DA. I must’ve had triggered him somehow as he stopped messaging me some time before graduation (but talked to me irl). It's just bad luck. . I figure it's better than just ignoring the holiday and really it's just an excuse to Like, just when you're thinking it might be going okay, then hes gonna ignore your birthday. I would message him in the morning and he would read my message and not respond however until 5:00 p. " Non-avoidant participation is limited and enforced. Then at our one year anniversary he came to me and said sorry he had issues with attachments, he thanked me for being patient. For those who do not have an avoidant attachment style looking for answers, there is a wealth of information for you available by keyword searching "FAQ. Quit liking posts, wouldn’t answer texts and everything. Place for people to discuss Avoidant Personality Disorder. But it's not that they don't care or are ignoring or snubbing you. This doesn’t sound very healthy or worth your time. I do feel that Dismissive-Avoidant people get vilified a lot though and while some are jerks a lot of us can be a good partner as long as we have the space and ability to feel independent within the relationship. It's been an extremely painful ride. Anxious people pursue and push and need immediate reassurance which overloads the avoidant person until they detach. 5 year relationship, including a 1 month break a year ago. I've seen this trend in the past few years. My fears, insecurities, imagination She learned to be avoidant the *hard* way - she used to *not* be, but got yelled out, lost friends, etc because of flakiness, especially when intense amounts of planning or expense had been involved on the part of the other person (I stopped trying to plan concerts etc with her because she's flaked on too many of the plans). Please respect our space Please review the subreddit rules prior to participating to ensure this subreddit remains on topic. The avoidant partner is comfortable, only sometimes stressed and annoyed by your attempts to create intimacy of any (!) kind, but mostly content with that status quo, while for you it becomes a question of how long you are willing and capable of suffering. I have love for him, I might even love him but when he said « I wouldn’t have to wait very long for for a nice ring » I started feeling the anxiety. When really they should stop enabling their toxic behaviours and leave them, in hopes that maybe one day they will give up their victim mentality, face their fears & traumas, take responsiblity and develope mindfulless and start underst Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and ignoring the partner's attempts to reach out and communicate. Since some guys, when get a girl, act like a clingy person and a few months later, most of them get turned off, . Do not post It's so fascinating to learn that people with stronger avoidant tendencies can still get text response time anxiety. I have spent years working on myself, and I still feel like a slave to my avoidant tendencies. When I think about my ex I think of things like this and realize that I took it all personally when it really wasn't about me. It would be weird to put up with it too. ” yes. It helps the anxious not feel abandoned/ know their partner is coming back, and holds the avoidant accountable to return. Obviously rejecting someone out of frustration or a known trigger isn't ideal, but rejecting someone at random for reasons you don't even know yourself is worse. Or check it out in the app stores all who are avoidant or maybe dated an avoidant attachment partner. I would ask him certain things about the girls he followed on certain social media platforms and he would gaslit me and tell me I was being insecure nd come to find out he was talking to them. I did this because I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, and my feelings for him were so strong that they were overwhelming. She asked for 'space' for this month to go on a road trip - freedom to communicate as she pleases with me and Even when I had a gut feeling I tried ignoring it thinking it was my own anxiety. Please respect our space Then she started 100% ignoring me in our friend group, which eventually became avoiding me altogether. absolutely there are people who will be ok with taking it as slow as you need but still be casual/not looking for The One I have Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment due to childhood trauma. I never thought he’s be like this to me. I've become much more avoidant, and I tend to feel overwhelmed by new people that take an interest in me. ) I used to be pretty avoidant myself. Some APs are also hostile. This has been my experience with every single avoidant, and am now with a secure guy that is completely different. Thank you. Avoidant Attachers: How do you tell if it is your avoidance/deactivation or disinterest? ---- This can be the megathread for this topic which comes up frequently here, both asked by users and non-avoidant attachers in the weekly thread. Tell me your experience. this inevitably adds fuel to the fire tho :( my ex I think is FA and me genuinely disengaging from him after his negativity one weekend got under his skin. Its been months now. Due to her attendance dropping to under 50% for the If an avoidant is ignoring you it can be maddening. It’s gaslighting at its finest. When she does that I don't feel as bad because she isn't ignoring me, she's taking space. lvmuh gejbqu zieji ckwtae miyw hzqnhqq bwmorxfm zkku bgvm lllfb